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Dear Diary

Forever Friends

My mom introduced me to this term “forever friends” when I was first moving to New York. I have always had many acquaintances but my circle of actual friends was very small. Truth be told, I liked it that way. Sure, I was sad I never got invited to any fancy parties or anything in high school but I didn’t choose to run with that crowd. Our small circle kept ourselves entertained in our own ways. We were a pretty vanilla group. But vanilla is basic and doesn’t get into trouble so props to us!

My mother’s group of friends, the fantastic four (or fabulous four, whichever you like) weren’t so vanilla growing up. Oregano, anyone? However, the 60s and 70s were a different time and some things were just more acceptable. That being said, this group of friends has weathered more than their fair share of thunderstorms. Life gets in the way, people change, you lose touch…things just change. My mother has a few more forever friends that aren’t pictured here. Everyone lives in a different city, town, or state; friendships are scattered. But the most important thing that my mother taught me about forever friends is: “You chose your friends for a reason; they are extension of you. You see yourself in them. You love them for who they are at that exact moment.”

From the left: Carla, Karie, Susan (my mom). Not pictured: Julie

From the left: Carla, Karie, Susan (my mom). Not pictured: Julie

Friends come and friends go. Sometimes, you find yourself in a different place, physically and emotionally, and you just drift apart. I’ve had a lot of friendships lose their spark over the years and I was convinced each friendship was a forever friendship. I desperately wanted to have this sense of friendship I saw in my mom, Karie, and Carla. I tried to love each of my friends for who they were at any given moment. And I found that for a select few I could. Quality over quantity, if you will.

The important thing is growth. You just pick up where you left off and go forward. That’s how your friendship grows; you grow with each other. I’m not perfect and neither are my friends. We have busy lives and our own directions. Sometimes, we go for days, weeks, or even months (sorry, Jackie) without speaking with each other. We do our best to talk to each other as much as we can without getting annoying. We worry if we annoy the other person with our texting, messaging, or calling. But we worry because we love them.

I’m lucky to have found forever friends. And I’m sure my little forever friend circle will grow a bit over the years. Maybe, even some of the friendships that drifted apart over the years will resurface. You never know. I’m proud of the friends I have and the people that they are at this exact moment. I should tell them that right now.

So should you.





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April 2015
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